Exploring Emotional Relationships with Dogs
This is a post meant to support dog owners and families who may not be aware they have signs of a toxic relationship with their dog.
Dogs are often referred to as "Human's best friend." They provide us with companionship, loyalty, and unconditional love. However, just like any other relationship, the bond between a person and their dog can sometimes become unhealthy.
While it may be challenging to believe that a toxic relationship can exist between a people and their furry friend, it's essential to recognize the signs and address them for the well-being of both parties involved.
#1 question/comment I get when working with good people who have not so great relationship with training their pup:
Client: Well Myles, I just do know what to do when my dog does [fill in your truth here]. I know dogs shouldn’t do these things, but I feel bad saying no.
Me: I feel ya… it sounds like you are looking to set some boundaries but want to avoid hurting your dog’s feelings?
Client: That’s right.
Me: Ok this is suuuuuper common and has simple solutions. FIRST and foremost while you are actually training or leading Buddy, I want to empower you to stop negotiation your feelings and try much hard to make the necessary adjustments.
Here is where we would sit down and talk about signs of relationships could be out of balance.
I remind them that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. But there are some common signs sign among the on the unhealthy side.
Neglecting Basic Needs: One of the most apparent signs of a toxic relationship with a dog is neglecting their basic needs. This can include excessive or insufficient food, exercise, or social needs. A healthy dog requires proper meals and food rewards, regular exercise, and routine socialization with people and dogs.
If these essentials are being neglected, I worry this sign that something is amiss.
Lack of Socialization: Dogs are social creatures that thrive on interaction with their human companions and other animals. If you isolate your dog from social interactions, it can lead to behavioral issues and anxiety. A toxic relationship often involves keeping your dog isolated from other dogs, people and things outside of the home. There is also overexposure to scary situations - high levels of stress and anxiety.
Harsh Punishment: Another sign of a toxic relationship is the use of harsh or abusive methods discipline their dog. Yelling, hitting, or using physical force to discipline your dog can cause them physical and emotional harm. Effective training should be based on positive relationships, balanced, patients and love.
Ignoring Signals of Fear or Discomfort: Dogs communicate their emotions and needs through body language and vocalizations. Ignoring signs of distress or discomfort is a clear indicator of a toxic relationship. If your dog is exhibiting signs of reactivity, fear, aggression, or anxiety, it's crucial to address the underlying issues rather than dismiss them.
Lack of Facetime and Play: Busy families are often not home. During the first 2yrs and training phase, lack of facetime and social bonding with your dog can be detrimental to your relationship. Dogs need love, attention, and intentional playtime to thrive. If you're indifferent to your dog's emotional needs or constantly neglect their desire for balanced socialization and exercise, it can lead to a toxic relationship.
Overwhelming Expectations: Sometimes, people have unrealistic expectations of their dogs, pushing them to perform beyond their capabilities. This can lead to excessive stress for the dog, affecting their physical and mental health (it is also kind of cringe to watch!). Understand your dog's limitations and provide them with love and support rather than unrealistic demands.
Seek guidance from a friendly neighborhood dog trainer, a veterinarian, or an animal behaviorist to help address any issues in your relationship. Remember that a loving, healthy relationship with your dog is built on trust, understanding, and mutual respect. Your dog relies on you for their well-being, and it's your responsibility to provide them with the care and love they deserve.